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Cooking is anti-social, leave it to Professional

By Jim Sheng

The online takeaway website Just-Eat launches a campaign to 'save the public from cooking and the tyranny of celebrity chefs.'

They codenamed a gang of rebellious chefs  Mr. Mozzarella, Mr. Basmati, Mir. T-Bone, Mr. Sweet & Mr. Sour, and Mr Halloumi, respectively.

Mr. Mozzarella represents Italian, which is a kind of fresh or unripened cheese traditionally made from water buffalo's milk; Mr. Basmati for Indian, which is the 'easy-cook' basmati rice; Mr. T-Bone, that's steaks of beef cut from the short loin, consisting of a T-shaped bone with meat on each side; Mr. Sweet and Mr Sour of course represent Chinese or Japanese, which is a kind of source; and Mr. Halloumi is a semi-hard, unripened brined white cheese made from a mixture of goats' and sheep milk, it's favourite cheese in Cyprus, Greece, and Middle East.

The leader of the gang, Mr. Mozz (short for Mozzarella), points out that there is "a madness that is threatening our livelihoods and giving people unnecessary stress. He believes that 'cooking isn't for faint-hearted ', because 'it's messy, anti-social, time consuming and dangerous, so it's best left to professional takeaway chefs.'

The cause of this madness is the 'Evil celebrity chefs.' who 'have been bullying and brainwashing people into thinking they can and must do their own cooking!' 'These showy chefs have filled our bookshops with endless recipe books and our supermarkets with useless utensils and unspellable ingredients.'

The gang leader call for a revolution, their simple message is: Don't cook, JUST EAT. It's the basic human right of hard-working and deserving citizens to enjoy takeaway after a long day's work.

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